Journey to 30

When I was younger, I had an idea of how my life was suppose to go. I can’t say I had it all planned out but I sort of knew what I wanted. I always envisioned myself with a thriving career, married & travelling the world whenever the opportunity arose. Little did I know that things would not go as planned.

As of right now, I’m knocking on 29’s door & I am nowhere near any of these things. I never took into consideration that life would deal me a sucker punch that would keep me down for years. Now I feel like I’m coming out the other end of it. I’m the most hopeful I’ve ever been. New opportunities have presented themselves & I’m honestly excited for it.

Lately I’ve been thinking about what I could work on until the other goals come to fruition. That’s how “Journey to 30” came about. The need to discover myself has been overwhelming recently. To be myself & be unapologetic about it. I’ve started taking self-love way more seriously. Usually I would wait until the new year to take action but not this time. What I’ve been doing hasn’t worked so why not shake things up a bit. Things I once thought were silly have become apart of my routine. Mantras & affirmations are a staple. My dilapidated dresser holds a plethora of books I look to for motivation. Even my attitude & mindset are gradually changing for the better. I’m determined to put my plans into action. So here’s to new beginnings…

leo

 

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Jhene Aiko – Trip (My Thoughts)

Last week, Jhene Aiko blessed the world with a 22 track album entitled, “Trip”. I admire her ability to be vulnerable in her music. Even though I haven’t listened to the album in depth yet I could tell it may be her most personal one to date. Along with the music she also released a short film with the same name. It’s 23 minutes long & if you haven’t seen it yet, you can check it out here.

The film starts out with a close up of Penny (Jhene). We find out early on that she’s mourning the death of her brother. To combat her somber mood, she journeys to a secluded spot along the ocean. This is where we meet Dante. I don’t know if its just me but he rubbed me the wrong way at the beginning. The guy didn’t know the meaning of personal space. From her body language you could tell she was uncomfortable.

Despite that, she warms up to him. He mentions that he took off of work for a year to explore the world & he doesn’t hesitate to ask Penny to join him. Claiming it was fate for them to have met. After watching it a second time, I realized that’s the most privileged thing ever. So you want her to neglect all of her responsibilities & go out on the road with you even though y’all just met? The logical thinker in me would have no parts in that. Jobs aren’t too keen on you taking weeks or even months off just so you can live on a whim. Like what is she going to do once she gets home?

Throwing caution to the wind, Penny decides to go. This marks the beginning of their whirlwind romance but things don’t remain good for long. Penny can’t seem to outrun her vices & this cause a rift between them. She is confronted by her issues & it’s up to her to get back to the person she once was.

This short film did a good job showing the extremes that some people go to just to numb their pain. It does a good job blending poetry, music & visuals together. It took me a second viewing to realize “Trip” had a double meaning (I’m slow sometimes y’all). I found myself relating to Penny’s pain. Throughout the film she names off moments they shared. Even describing his style of clothing & mannerisms. I find myself doing that at times. You want those moments back. Wanting that person back but knowing it’ll never happen.

 

I’d love to hear your thoughts on it. Have you ever lost someone & if so how did you deal with it?

 

 

Why I Write

So as I was on Instagram the other day & there was a post that stuck out to me. It was a simple statement but it really made me reflect.

“I write because…”

That was something I never really thought about. After taking time to think, I realized why writing resonated with me. It initially started with an assignment in my English class & slowly became a passion. A lifelong infatuation with words that I could never shake. No matter how bad of a writer I see myself as, literary expression will always reel me back into its grasp. Voluntary or otherwise.  Writing has never left me. Even though I’ve left it numerous times. Sometimes I can go months without writing anything & other times you can’t pry a pen away from me.

I write out of necessity. I write for all the times in my adolescence where I couldn’t speak..  For the times I’ve been in mental choke hold & couldn’t say a word.

I write hoping that one day my words will touch the masses & impact someone the way Maya, Nikki & Langston did for me. That my words live on even i’m not here to do so. That what I spoke has some sort of meaning that could help another.

So tell me what drives you to write…

 

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